There is a saying which is “if you can’t do it, teach it” which should be followed up with “You think you know it all, believe me you know Fuck all”
The year was 2003, I had been on the tools for around thirty years, during the time span it is un-comprehendible as to how much tonnage of plaster I had spread on the walls and ceilings, bearing in mind most I would say most of my wall work was solid plastering with sand, lime and cement or light weight gypsum based plasters like Carlite Browing or Carlite Bonding, so it was only a matter of time before my body said enough is enough.
I remember when I was a young apprentice a plasterer saying to me you only have so much work in your body, at the time I found this very hard to understand, but its true and one day whilst trowelling up a ceiling I felt a very strong pain shooting down from my shoulder down my body, I finished the ceiling drove home took some pain killers and thought I had pulled a muscle , the day after I set off to work but it became impossible for me to do any plastering as the pains were becoming worse, I drove home and went to see my GP, after an examination he told me I had ripped off the tendons in my shoulder and I doubted I would be able to plaster again, so I was signed off on the sick for six months, at first I did not believe what the GP said and after a few weeks of rest I felt ok , so I started doing small plastering jobs at home, you know the kind of job you are always going to do, but you never have the time or enthusiasm to do, but every time I tried the pain became unbearable, so I started to accept it, ok maybe the GP was right.
It was one day whilst driving my wife to work she said what are you going to do today to which I replied I am going to the job center to see how to become a teacher, after dropping her off at work I headed to the job center, I sat down and waited for someone to call me over, when I was called over I explained to the advisor what I wanted to do, to which she replied what qualifications do you have, none I replied just thirty years of experience, ok she said the one thing you have on your side was at this time the government were running a programme called restart aimed at people like myself who wanted a change in direction in their working life. She phoned the local college and the day after I was having an interview for a part time teacher.
Although I did not have the required qualifications, I was told that I would be given a probational employment contract for two years during that time period I would have to get the qualifications required for a teaching position which were NVQ level 2, then Level 3, Maths and English to grade C or above, Teacher training Certificate in Education and an A1 Assessors award, the college would pay and if I achieved I would be given a full time teaching position.
To say during the first two years my head was mashed would be an understatement, here I was a plasterer having to write essays about Equality and Diversity and Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, most of the stuff taught I did not have a clue about, every time I submitted an essay I would get a referral, but by hook or by crook the two years passed and I achieved all the qualifications I needed for the full time position.
One thing I did not learn in teacher training was how to handle aggressive students, the college in which I taught was in a deprived area, and one thing the students did have in common was a bad attitude towards teachers, which had been learnt during their time in secondary school. (when attended !!)
I was working with two more plastering tutors who like me had just come off the building site and this was their first teaching job, barely a week went by without one of us getting threatened by some student or other with their aggressive attitude, but one thing the students found out was that college teachers are a bit different to school teachers and we did not put up with their shit without responding back.
One day I walked into the workshop and saw a few students having a game of cricket instead of working , so I went up to the lad who was batting and said ok enough let’s get back to work , to which he then became aggressive and put his fist up to my face and said “I am going to punch your lights out”, “ok so hit me” I said, he just stood there and looked at me “hit me” I said again in a louder voice, by this time the workshop had become very quiet and all the students were staring at me, “hit me” I said again , you either “hit me or get the fuck out of my workshop”, he dropped his fist and walked out of the workshop calling me names all the way, trying to keep some face, the remaining students could not believe what had happened , “weren’t you scared” one of them said, no I replied if he had the guts to hit me he would have hit me not threaten me. It was because of incidents like that, I became known as the “Big Fat Bald Bastard”, LOL, I wore that name with pride.
It was always the first year students who would try it on, eventually I did lose my rag, I was having a bad day and teaching a group of sixteen first year students, when one particular lad who sat in the front row, started rolling a piece of A4 paper in a ball and then started to aim it at me, that was it, I said “ if you fucking throw that at me I will jump over your desk and break your fucking neck you little fucker”, the classroom went quiet the lad knew he had gone too far, the bell rang for end of the lesson and the lad ran out, I thought oh fuck that’s the end of my teaching career as you cannot threaten students, as the class walked out I said sorry I should not have said that to that lad, I was surprised by the answer which was “sorry Dave we don’t know what you are talking about”, I had won their respect and they would stand behind me if needed. The funny thing is that the disruptive lad became the model student.
Lath and Plaster 